


Retrouvailles

by Sleigh



Category: Lux-Pain
Genre: Gift Fic, Lux-Pain Secret Santa, M/M, Reunions, Secret Santa, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 10:57:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleigh/pseuds/Sleigh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kisaragi is Atsuki's home. Ryo is certain of that. Neither of them have forgotten each other, and Ryo hasn't lost hope that Atsuki will come home some day. Even on the snowiest, loneliest days of January, Ryo still waits.</p><p>Luckily, Atsuki won't make him wait forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Retrouvailles

It had been two months, three weeks, and one day since Atsuki Saijo left Kisaragi City. Ryo Unami was keeping track.

Every day Ryo didn’t get the chance to speak with Atsuki face to face, he marked that day on his European Basilicas calendar with a small black ‘x’. November’s St Peter’s Basilica month was covered in the markings, as was December, the month of the Papal Basilica of Saint Mary Major. He replaced that calendar with a Russian folk art one in January, but each day still received an ‘x’.

Atsuki probably wasn’t going to come back at this rate. That should have been clear after all this time. Maybe if Ryo wasn’t such an optimist, he would have picked up that line of thinking. For better or worse, he was just about certain he and Atsuki would meet again.

Of course, it helped that he was still keeping in touch with Atsuki. It would be hard to give up on someone he wrote to every week.

Ryo received his first letter from Atsuki two weeks after he left. He hadn’t know what to expect when Ai told him one morning that they’d gotten a letter addressed to him from Croatia. The sender’s name wasn’t written on the envelope, but there was no mistaking the name signed at the end of the letter.

Atsuki Saijo.

The letter instructed Ryo to not tell anyone he was getting the letters, or where Atsuki was living. Atsuki told him he wasn’t supposed to be staying in touch with him, and it was important that nobody else found out what they were doing.

 Ryo wrote a four page response in his study after school, just to be sure nobody would try to read what he was writing. He told Atsuki how happy he was to hear from him, about the ongoing festival preparations, and the new teachers at the school trying to fill in all the ones who… were no longer able to teach. Ryo didn’t want to dwell much on the demises of some of his old teachers. He asked a dozen questions about Croatia, from what the weather was like to how Atsuki liked the food. He stayed up too late writing and stayed up even later reading a book about the Croatian War of Independence. Somehow it made him feel a little bit closer to Atsuki.

Atsuki’s next response came in the middle of November. The envelope was covered in stamps from everywhere it had been between Rijeka and Tohodo, but it still didn’t have Atsuki’s name on the front. As soon as Ryo opened it, a 5 kuna bill and a folded up brochure for a local tourist attraction fell out. The letter was tucked inside the brochure, and explained how Atsuki was struggling to learn Croatian but didn’t think he’d be there much longer, and how he wished he could’ve mailed Ryo some fritule.  At the end, Atsuki mentioned that he really missed him.

Ryo wrote back and thanked him for the souvenirs, and told Atsuki he missed him just as much. He read Atsuki’s letter over and over again, and then kept re-reading his response. Before moving on to work on his homework, he added, ‘I hope you come home soon’ to letter, then signed it and sealed into an envelope.

The next morning, Ryo went to the post office as soon as it opened so he could send the letter. Once he got there, one of the workers handed him a letter they’d just gotten that was addressed to him. There was no name from the sender on the letter, but the address was in Singapore. Ryo went home and opened it right away.

[Hey Unami. I’ve been sent to Singapore, so please send things to this address. I’ll miss the fritule, but I’m sure the food is good here too, and I’m better with these languages.

Has the festival happened yet? I hope you have fun with it. I won’t say too much since you haven’t gotten to respond to my last letter yet. Take care. I miss you.

Atsuki Saijo]

Singapore still wasn’t Kisaragi city, but it was far closer than Europe. In Singapore, it was only one hour earlier than it was in Kisaragi. Croatia and Kisaragi has a sixteen hour difference. Ryo could take the train to Osaka, leave there early in the morning, and be in Singapore that evening. If he had a spare hundred thousand yen lying around, he could try to see Atsuki again for a few days. Being so close was comforting, but being so far that it wasn’t possible for him to actually visit was frustrating.

[Wow, you move around a lot! There’s always a lot going on in Singapore, it must be a fun place to be. What languages do you speak? I don’t think I ever thought to ask while you were here.

 If you feel like stopping by Kisaragi while you’re so close, you’re welcome to stay with me. I’d really love to see you again, and I know everyone else here misses you too. You’ve done so much for us, everyone would like to be able to thank you. I’m pretty lonely without you here, you know. Please visit.

Anyway, I just wanted to add this after I got your new letter. I’ll tell you all about the festival next time. Have fun in Singapore!

-          Ryo]

Ryo added that to his last letter, and sent it off to the new address. Later that night he started to wonder if he should have left the part about being lonely out, but it was too late to do anything about it by then. Atsuki probably knew that anyway, so there was no sense in trying to cover it up. Atsuki knew Ryo’s best friend was murdered in October. He knew Ryo wasn’t as close to his childhood friends as they were to each other. Atsuki knew everything that was going on and never tried to trivialize things or draw the attention to himself instead. Atsuki listened and he genuinely cared, and that’s what Ryo loved and needed.

Ryo thought about the ‘loved’ part of that so long he didn’t fall asleep until a few hours before school started.

The next letter arrived in early December. Atsuki had stuffed two postcards inside the envelope, one of Bishan Park at night, and another of the Singapore Flyer at sunset. Both of them were blank, with a letter folded in between them.

[Ryo,

I wish I could visit you, but I can’t leave. I might be able to see you if I’m in Japan again, but I have to stay here for now. I’m sorry. If you visit Singapore, I’ll try to find you. Otherwise, we’ll just have to keep doing this.

Besides Japanese, I know English and a few other languages too. Someone is teaching me Chinese right now, and that’s been helpful here. I have to know a lot since I travel so much. If you’d ever want help learning a language, I could help you.

This is a great city, but I still miss Kisaragi. Has everyone been doing well back there? It’s hard not being able to talk to them too.]

Atsuki continued on with more questions about Ryo and Kisaragi, and gave some more little details about what he was up to in Singapore. Ryo could barely give the rest of the letter the attention it deserved, because he was too hung up on Atsuki using his first name at the top of the letter. It was the first time he remembered Atsuki being that informal, and the more he stared at his name on that page in Atsuki’s neat handwriting, the more warm he felt.

He taped both the postcards to the wall in his bedroom, then started on his reply to Atsuki.

[That’s too bad, but I understand. I hope you get to come back here soon. It’d be fun to have you around for the holidays.

The festival was fun this year, but it would’ve been more fun if you were here. It was more solemn after everything that happened, but everyone kept it positive. I bet you would’ve loved the food…]

Ryo wrote on and on about the antics at that year’s Cultural Festival. He probably wouldn’t have been as involved in it if Rui and Mika hadn’t really pushed him to participate in everything. Whenever they found out he had free time, they roped him into working on festival preparations with them and Yayoi, and Akira if he didn’t manage to escape.

Almost every time they got together, the topic would find it’s way to Atsuki. He’d done so much for all of them, it was impossible to not think of him regularly now that they’d all remembered him.

Ryo ended up writing far too much again, and had to stop himself once he realized he’d written seven pages. As soon as he really understood how much Atsuki had to trust him to be writing to him despite the potential repercussions, all he wanted to do was ask him endless questions. Atsuki had been closed off before, but now Ryo had earned enough of his trust that he could try to figure Atsuki out. Almost every question Ryo asked got an answer, no matter how stupid the questions were, and it only made him want to ask more.

By this point, he’d figured out Atsuki had a sister that passed away, and he didn’t do all this travelling alone. He liked music a lot and ate a ridiculous amount of food for someone as thin as he was. He liked reading too, especially the writings of Ryūnosuke Akutagawa and Charlotte Perkins Gilman that Ryo recommended to him. He still got jetlag even though he travelled all the time, and he liked sleeping in but rarely was able to. When he was very young he had a cat named Shinjuurou, but there was no way he could own pets anymore. His birthday was in summer, but he preferred the weather in spring and autumn.

Knowing all those little, basic things made Ryo feel infinitely closer to Atsuki than he had when Atsuki was actually nearby. Good friends were supposed to know each other’s birthdays and their preferences with the most insignificant things, and now Ryo was finally learning those things.

Ryo sent his reply to Atsuki along with a book about the daily lives of Tibetan monks, which he was sure Atsuki would find absolutely riveting. He was even more thankful Atsuki was living closer to him when he dropped the package off at the post office. Sending a Christmas gift like that all the way to Europe would’ve been painfully expensive.

He’d left a small note between some of the last pages in the book before he packed it up, but he didn’t know if he was more excited or terrified for Atsuki to find it.

When a small package from Singapore arrived at the end of the month, Ryo was so nervous about what might be inside that he didn’t open it for hours. He worked on homework or worked around the store, stared at the package for a moment, decided not to open it yet, and restarted the cycle. He was only brave enough to open it after Tohodo closed and there wasn’t any more homework left to do.

When Ryo cut the box open, the first thing he saw was a CD with a sticky note on it. ‘This is a local band. I hope you like them’ the note said. Ryo took the cd out of the box and turned it over. He didn’t listen to enough music to know who Astreal was, but if Atsuki was sending him one of their CDs, they couldn’t be bad.

Beneath that was a hardcover book with worn edges and another sticky note on it. ‘I hope you don’t have this one already’ it said. Ryo lifted the sticky note off the cover, and read beneath it that the book was a biography of Imagawa Yoshimoto. He was certain he hadn’t read it before.

Tucked between the front cover and the first page was Atsuki’s letter. The letter was shorter than usual, and said that Atsuki was very busy, and didn’t have time to read the book Ryo sent yet, but he was looking forward to reading it.

‘I’m going to be leaving here soon, so don’t write back yet. I’ll send you my new address once I get there. I’ll read the book you sent on the plane,’ was written at the end of the letter. Ryo felt a little relieved that Atsuki hadn’t read the note yet, but he mostly felt more nervous. The longer he had to wait for Atsuki’s reaction, the more nervous he got.

Ryo didn’t get any relief from his nerves. January was beginning to fill with more tiny ‘x’s, but he still hadn’t received a letter from Atsuki. Every day he checked the mail as soon as it arrived, but there were no mysterious letters from far off places missing the name of the sender. For whatever reason, Atsuki wasn’t writing to Ryo anymore, and he was starting to think it had something to do with the note he stuck in the back of the book. He tried to focus on work, but it was hard to not let the regret seep in every now and then.

Ryo checked the calendar on one of the walls of Tohodo one morning, and counted that it had been almost three weeks since the last letter from Atsuki, and coming up on three months since Ryo last saw him in person.

The weather outside was nice to look at, but it wasn’t anything Ryo wanted to go out in. It was snowing fairly heavily, with huge wet flakes that would be perfect for making snowmen. Ryo remembered making snowmen and snow angels with Hibiki a long time ago, but thinking about that made him depressed. He picked up the biography Atsuki had sent him and began reading that to get his mind off things. It’s not like Tohodo was getting any customers during these conditions anyway, despite it being a Saturday.

Later in the afternoon, Ryo heard a knock at the door but ignored it. Tohodo didn’t have an open or closed sign, but at this time of day there shouldn’t have been any confusion about whether the shop was open or not. Ryo lived there; he wasn’t going to close the shop just for some snow. He assumed it was the wind that was just as strong as before, and ignored it.

There was a very short moment of silence. Then, the knocking came back, slightly louder.

Ryo couldn’t ignore it anymore. He put the book down, and used a receipt a customer yesterday hadn’t wanted as a bookmark. He expected someone lost or confused to be at the door, or someone brave enough to buy books in this weather trying to find out if the store was open or not.

When Ryo opened the door, he froze and stared at the person in front of him for a moment. His coat and his hair were covered in melting snowflakes, and he looked tired and very cold, but there was no mistaking Atsuki Saijo standing on Tohodo’s doorstep.

“Ryo—“ Atsuki tried to say something, but he was cut off. Ryo pulled Atsuki into a tight hug while he was still mid-sentence, but Atsuki still reciprocated and wrapped his arms around Ryo in return. The winter air blowing into Tohodo was freezing, but Atsuki still felt so warm. Ryo had missed everything about Atsuki—his voice, his eyes, his quiet understanding, the way he made Ryo feel better just by being around… and now that he was back, Ryo never wanted to let go of him.

“I knew you’d come back,” Ryo murmured into Atsuki’s shoulder, still not loosening his grip despite the cold biting at his fingers. “This is your home. You had to come back.”

“It’s not permanent, but I wanted to see you again,” Atsuki replied, not letting go either.

The overwhelming warmth and happiness Ryo felt cooled down enough that he realized Atsuki was probably about to freeze to death and needed to get inside. He reluctantly let go of Atsuki, but didn’t move farther away from him. “Come in, it’s freezing out here,” Ryo said with a smile, heading off into Tohodo with Atsuki following behind him. “Do you want some tea? Or coffee?” Ryo asked enthusiastically, making his way towards the study. “How did you get here? How long are you in town?” He had so many questions, he couldn’t stay relaxed long enough to only ask them one at a time. As much as he hoped Atsuki would visit, he hadn’t ever planned out what he would do in that situation.

“No thanks, I’m fine,” Atsuki replied, following Ryo into the study and taking a seat, “I’m in Mishima for now, so I took the train down here to see you. I can only stay for today though.”

Ryo’s smile faltered as he sat down next to Atsuki, but he quickly recovered. One day wasn’t very long at all. He was hoping for a lot more time with Atsuki than that. “It’s too bad you can only be here for one day, but I’m really glad you’re here. It’s such great luck that you got to come back to Japan.” Mishima wasn’t very close to Kisaragi, but it was close enough that a round trip could easily be done in a day. Ryo secretly hoped the snow got so bad the trains were shut down and Atsuki was forced to stay, but he wasn’t sure there were very good odds of that.

“Yeah, it is,” Atsuki replied, smiling, “We’ll have to make the most of today. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

Ryo had seen Atsuki smile very few times, so seeing him smile now, especially after all this time, was wonderful. He was distracted by it enough that he forgot to respond to Atsuki, and got flustered once he realized it. “Y-Yes, we…” he quickly tried to recover, “…Well first off, how was your trip?”

“Nothing special. It went all right. I finished that book you gave me. And…” Atsuki dug around in his coat pocket and pulled out a small, folded up piece of paper. He unfolded it and held it up to show Ryo. “I found your note.”

In all the excitement, Ryo forgot all about the note he left in the back of the book. Now that he had to face it, he suddenly wasn’t sure of what to do or say. He’d been rehearsing what he’d write back to Atsuki if he ever brought the note up, but he wasn’t expecting to have to deal with that in person.

[I really like you, Saijo! I just wanted you to know that.]

Ryo stared at it for a moment before making eye contact with Atsuki again. “I know a note isn’t a good way to say something like that…” he began, shifting his gaze to a random wall, “But I didn’t know I’d get to see you again like this.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” Atsuki replied right away. He looked away for a moment before looking back at Ryo. “…I like you too, so it’s nice to know you feel the same way.”

Ryo’s mind went blank, and he couldn’t seem to get it to start working again. Atsuki liked him. He hadn’t been ignoring him, Atsuki really liked him back. The more Ryo thought about it, the more sense it made. Atsuki only wrote to him, even though he could get in serious trouble for it. Atsuki found time to send him little gifts, even when he was busy with work. Atsuki came all the way from Mishima in a snowstorm just to spend a few hours with him. None of those necessarily meant Atsuki liked him on their own, but knowing Atsuki cared about him made it all make sense. Ryo understood why Atsuki took so many risks and went through so much work just to stay in touch him him.

“That’s great!” Ryo said with a smile once he’d processed everything. “I hoped you did, but I didn’t know for sure. I’ve been waiting for you to say something about it.” Ryo wasn’t sure what they were going to do now that all that was out in the open, but for now, he was happy just being with Atsuki.

“If you want to…” Atsuki started off, “We could try a long distance relationship. I can’t be with you here, but I want to…” he trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished. “If we like each other, we should try something…”

Ryo definitely wasn’t expecting that, and the surprise showed on his face. “I think we could make that work,” he said after a short pause, “I know we can. We’ve been doing fine so far.”

They spent the afternoon catching up, and looking through books, and neither of them paid much attention to the time. Atsuki didn’t even realize he was close to missing the train until he checked his phone again and saw the time. He needed to leave right away.

The snow wasn’t bad enough to delay anything, and by that point it had slowed down to just a few soft snowflakes here and there. Ryo followed Atsuki to the train station, and Atsuki’s train arrived a few moments after they got there.

“I’ll see you soon,” Atsuki told Ryo, stopping just in front of the door to one of the train cars.

“I look forward to it. Don’t forget to write to me until then,” Ryo replied with a smile.

“I won’t forget,” Atsuki said, and for a moment he didn’t do anything. Then he quickly leaned in and kissed Ryo.

Ryo had just moved one of his hands to Atsuki’s shoulder and the other to Atsuki’s hair when Atsuki pulled away. Even with more distance between them, and nothing but cold and snow surrounding them, Ryo still felt warm.

Atsuki moved farther away and stepped onto the train. “See you,” he said to Ryo one last time.

The doors closed, and the train pulled out of the station, starting off towards Mishima. Ryo stood and watched as it disappeared, leaving him alone in the snow. This was the point where the loneliness should have set in. He should’ve felt upset and alone and the cold should have been getting to him. But all Ryo felt was optimistic. He knew it wouldn’t be long until he saw Atsuki again.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm studying French, but we haven't covered 'retrouvailles' yet. The internet defines it as 'reunion' 'homecoming' and 'the happiness of meeting again after a long time', so I think it works.
> 
> Anyway, this fic was written as a gift for ontheborderofinsanity on tumblr! It's my contribution to the Lux Pain Secret Santa 2012. I hope you like it, Alex!
> 
> I did a lot of research for this fic, but I don't have any notes on it. (Besides that fritule looks really delicious, don't google it if you're hungry) I've never written this ship before and writing for Ryo was tough, but it was a lot of fun. I love this ship so I'm glad it was in the request!
> 
> Thank you very much for reading, and as always, feedback is highly appreciated!


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